Tag: March Goals

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Support a Colleague without Flirting | Lent Prep | Easter Prep

The goal when supporting a colleague is to be supportive rather than someone with a personal agenda. Here is a list of thoughtful, low-pressure ways to support your colleagues with thoughtful gestures that are not flirty:

The Public Praise Approach

Nothing says I respect your work like a professional validation. This is a high-impact way to support a colleague that stays strictly within the realm of business.

  • Give a shout-out in a meeting: Mention a colleague’s specific contribution to a project when leadership is present at a meeting.
  • Send a “Cc the Boss” email: When someone helps you out, send a thank-you email and copy their manager to let him know that you are working as a team.
  • Write a LinkedIn recommendation: Write a well-written endorsement of your colleagues skills is a massive professional gift.

The Utilitarian Approach

Focus on things that make your colleagues workday easier without requiring an emotional or personal response.

  • The “Refill” Rule: If you’re heading to the break room for coffee and see a colleague focused but not deeply focused, where you are interrupting, give a quick “Hey, I’m heading to the kitchen, want me another coffee?” Be helpful but brief.
  • Share relevant resources: If you find an article or tool that solves a problem they’ve been complaining about, Send it over with a simple: “I saw this and thought it might help with that [Project X] .”

The Inclusive Group Approach

To avoid any “one-on-one” awkwardness, focus on gestures that benefit the collective.

  • The “Community Break”: Bring something for the coffee break for the whole department to enjoy, a celebration cake for reaching a timeline marker removes the “this is just for you” vibe.
  • Meeting Hygiene: Take time to send out a brief summary or “action items” after a meeting that may not have ended with a clear resolution. Everyone appreciates the person who saves them from taking notes and helps them focus their energy on specific bullet points or points to clarify.

How to Keep it Professional

To ensure your intentions aren’t misread, keep these three rules in mind:

StrategyWhy it Works
Keep it PublicUse open channels to keep praise transparent.
Focus on Task, Not PersonCompliment the work (“That report was so clear”) rather than the person (“You’re so smart”).
The “Drive-By” MethodKeep interactions short. Deliver the help or the compliment, then immediately pivot back to your own desk.
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Trigger Development from the Past | Lent Prep | Easter Prep

At work, identifying triggers requires looking for operational frictions. By reframing your emotional reactions as data about your work environment, you can identify them without appearing weak or unable to hold your position.

The Work Trigger Review

Translate your emotional reactions into business language. This moves the focus from your feelings to your effectiveness at work.

If you feel:Reframe it as:Why this sounds “Strong”:
Micro-managed (Anxious/Annoyed)A need for AutonomyIt shows you value ownership and efficiency.
Ignored in meetings (Hurt/Invisible)A need for Contribution EquityIt shows you want to maximize your value to the team.
Last-minute changes (Panicked/Angry)A need for Predictability/ProcessIt shows you are focused on quality and planning.
Unclear feedback (Defensive/Confused)A need for Actionable ClarityIt shows you are growth-oriented and results-driven.

Use the “SCARF” Model

Developed by a neuroscientist, this model lists the five domains the brain treats as “survival” issues at work. If one of these is threatened, you will be triggered.

  • Status: Your relative importance to others.
  • Certainty: Your ability to predict the future.
  • Autonomy: Your sense of control over events.
  • Relatedness: Your sense of safety with others (friend vs. foe).
  • Fairness: The perception of fair exchanges between people.

Setting “Proactive Boundaries”

Identifying a trigger allows you to solve the problem before the emotion hits. This makes you look like a high-performer who manages their own workflow.

  • Trigger: Being put on the spot for answers.
    • Professional Solution: “I want to give you the most accurate data. Can we add an ‘Updates’ section to the agenda so I can prepare my notes in advance?”
  • Trigger: Vague, “can we chat?” messages.
    • Professional Solution: “I’m in deep-work mode right now. Could you send over a quick agenda so I can make sure I have the right files ready when we talk?”

Managing the “Post-Trigger” Moment

If you do get triggered and feel a reaction coming on, use the “Consultant’s Pause.”

Instead of reacting emotionally, say: “That’s an interesting. I will be right back to continue our conversation.” This doesn’t look weak—it looks deliberate and composed. If you are unable to leave. Take a pause and look for data. or write down what was said and make sure that you have the information down accurately.”

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Conversation Styles at Work | Lent Prep | Easter Prep

In a professional setting, communication is about managing relationship dynamics, deadlines, team morale and corporate culture. Recognizing the style of your colleagues can help strengthen your team.

Four Team Communication Styles:

The Directive Style

These individuals value brevity and efficiency. Direct, fast-paced, and sometimes perceived as blunt or impatient. Skip the small talk with these colleagues. Use bullet points to stay focused. Be careful, they may steamroll others in a rush to reach a decision.

The Analytical Style

Precision is a priority. This colleague needs facts, figures, and logical sequences before they feel comfortable in the conversation. They are systematic, cautious, and detail-oriented and like data in advance. Avoid sharing your gut feelings or vague estimates. Use logic to support your claims. This colleague may fall into “analysis paralysis” and struggle with quick pivots.

The Collaborative Style

This colleague is focused on the process of how a team works together. It is just as important to them as the outcome. This colleague prioritizes harmony at work. This colleague is warm, supportive, and focused on consensus. The conversations with these colleagues start with a brief personal check-in. Ask for their input. This colleague may avoid interacting with you while there is a conflict hoping it will be resolved by someone else.

The Expressive Style

These are the visionaries who think in big pictures. They communicate with enthusiasm and are often the “cheerleaders” of a project. This colleague is energetic, outgoing, and sometimes disorganized in their work process. They like to Focus on the “big picture” impact. Acknowledge their creativity and the value of their input on the project. They will not add logistics or practical details into their conversations so that information is best left to emails and memorandums at work or shared timelines for them to follow.

Quick Comparison Table

StylePrimary GoalMajor Pet PeeveBest Format
DirectiveResultsWasted timeBrief Executive Summary
AnalyticalAccuracyInaccurate dataDetailed Report/Spreadsheet
CollaborativeConnectionDismissive attitudesFace-to-face/Team Meeting
ExpressiveInnovationRigid Routine with others focused on different areasInformal meetings for update
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When is it 100 percent the fault of the other person | Lent Prep | Easter Prep

The “Ambush” or Unprovoked Attack

If person A is sitting quietly reading a book, and person B enters the room and begins screaming or hurling insults without any prior interaction or relevant context, the “argument” is 100% the fault of Person B.

Physical or Emotional Abuse

In cases of abuse, the “two to tango” rule is strictly discarded.

  • Power Imbalance: If one person uses fear, threats, or physical violence to control the other, they are 100% responsible for the conflict.
  • Gaslighting: If a person creates a conflict based on a lie they have manufactured to destabilize the other person, the fault lies solely with the person manufacturing lies.

Objective Violation of Clear Boundaries

If two people have a crystal-clear, agreed-upon boundaries such as “Do not share my private information” and Person A intentionally breaks the healthy boundary regarding privacy, the resulting “argument” is the fault of the person who broke the healthy boundary.

Projection and Displaced Aggression

Sometimes a person has a terrible day at work, comes home, and picks a fight over something trivial because they can’t share what is bothering them at work. They have picked an argument and are at blame.

If the argument has nothing to do with the partner’s behaviour or activities and everything to do with the aggressor inability to deal with stressors or situations, the aggressor is responsible for the argument.

The “Fault” vs. “Response” Distinction

Even if a fight is 100% one person’s fault to start, the other person eventually has a choice in how they respond.

ScenarioInitiation FaultParticipation Fault
Random Insult100% AggressorShared if the victim escalates back
Lying/Cheating100% ViolatorShared if the victim uses it to justify abuse
Setting a BoundarySetting an unhealthy boundary. Violating a healthy boundary.100% the person fault who set the unhealthy boundary. one 100% fault of the person who violate the healthy boundary.

Why we rarely see “100% Fault” in Healthy Relationships

In a functional relationship, even if one person starts a conflict unfairly, the other person usually tries to de-escalate. If they instead “take the bait,” they become a co-author of the ensuing chaos. If you find yourself frequently being told everything is “100% your fault,” or if you feel you are the only one ever at fault, that may be a sign of an emotional imbalance or manipulation rather than objective truth be a sign that your relationship needs a therapist.

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Invitation to a Meeting after an Argument | Lent Prep | Easter Prep |

Subject: Meeting: Resolution & Path Forward Regarding [Project/Event Name]

Hi [Name],

I’d like to set out some time for us to sit down and touch base following our recent discussion regarding [briefly name the disagreement/failure].

While the situation is challenging, I’m focused on how we can use what happened to strengthen our workflow moving forward. I’ve outlined a few specific goals for our conversation:

  • Alignment of resources: Finalizing a shared understanding of the solution for the current issue and insuring that all resources are focused on a unified goal.
  • Establish a Timeline: Setting clear milestones and deadlines to get us back on track.
  • Preventative Measures: Discussing how we can adjust our communication style or process to avoid future conflicts on the subject.

I’ve attached a brief summary of my reflections to give you an idea of my perspective on the topic before we meet. At the meeting, I’m interested in hearing your thoughts on how we can best navigate the next steps.

Proposed Times:

  • [Option 1: Day/Time]
  • [Option 2: Day/Time]

Please let me know which of these works for you, or feel free to suggest an alternative time for our strategy meeting.

Best regards,

NAME of Person Writing Email

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A Template for an Apology and Mending Fences with a Colleague | Lent Prep | Easter Prep

Professional apologies in the workplace are slightly different than in personal friendships. While the goal is still to mend the relationship, the focus is accountability, reliability, and the restoration of the team dynamic.

The Direct Ownership Apology

In an office, mending fences with colleagues often starts with a clear admission of a specific lapse such as missing a deadline or a communication deadline.

The “Corrective Action” Plan

An apology used to demonstrate a commitment to process improvement. If a mistake at work caused extra work for others, your apology is presenting a plan designed to ensure a positive relationship future. This shows respect for their time and labor of your colleagues which have to work to deal with your mistake.

Public Credit or Private Validation

If the hurt involved undermining a colleague such as your boss, or taking undue credit regarding your colleagues ideas, your apology involves publicly highlighting their contributions to the idea and making it a team idea not a single persons. This can be done by sending an email to the team or manager specifically praising that colleague’s recent work or clarifying their role in a success.

Email Template: Professional Mending of Fences

This template is designed to be direct without being too emotional. This maintains professional standing while showing regret over the mistake / action which caused harm to a professional project or relationship.

Subject: Following up / Apology regarding [Project Name or Situation] Formal Email Tone

Dear [Colleague’s Name],

I’ve been reflecting on [the meeting/our conversation] from [Day/Date], and I want to reach out and apologize for [my tone/the oversight/the delay].

I realize that my [actions/words] created [extra work/tension] for you and the rest of the team. That wasn’t my intention, but I recognize the impact it had, and I’m sorry for the issues it caused.

Our working relationship is very important to me, and I’d like to make sure we’re back on track. I would like to continue supporting your/the team efforts and moving forward on the projects.

I’m committed to developing better communication and cooperation skills on my end from here on out.

Best regards,

[Your Name]

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Constructive Criticism Advice | Lent Prep | Easter Prep

Constructive criticism in a professional setting provides feedback that isn’t about fixing a person. the constructive advice is about protecting standards and helping individuals reach their potential.

Constructive feedback is advisable:

Skill Development and Growth

When someone is learning a new role or task constructive advice provides them with a feedback loop to improve.

  • New Employee Integration: Helping a new hire understand the company’s specific corporate work style and workflow.
  • Preparation for Promotion: Pointing out the leadership or public speaking tweaks that high-performers need to reach the next level.
  • Course Correction: When an employee’s technical output is good, but their not fitting with the corporate work flow.

Behavioral or Cultural Misalignment

Sometimes the work is great, but the way it’s being done creates friction within the team.

  • Communication Gaps: When a team member’s tone in emails is perceived as aggressive or dismissive. Providing templates for the team member to use to avoid escalating a situation. Have HR draft proper language for communication between departments.
  • Collaboration Issues: If someone consistently works in a “silo” and fails to update their teammates on progress. A person who is used to working in a flat hierarchy that enters a pyramid or silo corporate culture may need constructive advice provided through training from HR that is mandatory for new hires.
  • Reliability: Addressing chronic lateness to meetings or missing internal deadlines that impact others through HR Constructive Advice built into the work process. Making sure the process is in place for all persons to know of internal deadlines and the process in the corporate culture for chronic lateness.

Impact on Quality and Standards

When the output of the work starts to slip, or when a specific mistake could have serious consequences.

  • Recurring Errors: Addressing a pattern of small mistakes like data entry errors that can be corrected by using online software licensed by the company.
  • Deviation from Brand: When a project’s direction isn’t aligned with the company’s established voice or guidelines. Specific protocols set in place by Human Resource Department.
  • Safety or Compliance: Immediate feedback is necessary if an action violates safety protocols or legal regulations. The corporate culture set by HR and enforced by HR will set how security and employees interact. The laws of the United States are clear on employee safety in the workplace.

Interpersonal Conflict Resolution

If a dynamic between two people is hindering productivity, a third party mediator protocol is set by the HR department. All Departments and all employees may request a mediator protocol to be in place in all departments to avoid the escalation of a discussion.

Providing feedback to someone who regularly speaks over others during meetings.

Telling a colleague that their habit of dismissing an employee or laterally moving them is making the team less creative.

Not every situation requires a critique but may require feedback.

  • It’s a one-time fluke: If a superstar employee is late once in three years, don’t give them a different standard to other employees. Be concerned and find out what happened. Ask to see if there is anything the department can do to assist them.
  • It’s a matter of personal preference: If their method works perfectly but just isn’t “how you would do it,” let it go if it isn’t violating the corporate culture or the law.
  • You are emotional: If you are angry, your feedback will come across as a vent, not a lesson. Use a template email to provide feedback to avoid venting through text or email messages.

Summary Table: Advisable vs. Inadvisable

SituationActionReason
New TaskGive FeedbackAccelerates the learning curve. Help them advance their skill set.
Public MistakeWait / Private FeedbackAvoids humiliation and defensiveness and make sure you know why they made the mistake.
Culture FitGive FeedbackProtects team morale and long-term retention. If the employee does not like the corporate culture, help them relocate.
Personal StyleObserve OnlyEncourages diversity of thought and autonomy at work and enforce corporate culture set by HR.
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Goal of a Conversation | Easter Prep | Lent Prep

What is the purpose of your conversation?

  • The have an answer to a question: Before you speak, ask yourself: What is the one piece of information I want them to have when I walk away?
  • Give an Explanation for Starting the Conversation: Start with a context that narrows the topic. “I’d like to discuss _________.” The goal is implied by the scope.
  • Getting a Yes Answer, Compromise: Use questions that lead to your desired destination of an affirmative answer.
  • The Relationship Building Conversation: If your goal is creating a stronger relationship, use a low-stakes, warm tone and topic.

Do You Need a Goal Before Starting?

The short answer is yes.

The Colleague

When a colleague is focused, your goal is to gauge their “interruptibility” without actually breaking their flow yet.

  • The Script: “Hey [Name], do you have a quick 30 seconds for a [Topic] question, or should I come back when you’re at a stopping point?” You give them an out by offering to come back which shows you value their work.

The Boss

Knocking on a door can feel intrusive. Your opening should bridge the gap between “I’m interrupting” and “This is worth your time.”

  • The Script: “Hi [Name], do you have a moment to discuss [Project X]? I have a quick update/question that I’d like your opinion.” Stating the specific project immediately helps your boss switch mental gears so they aren’t guessing why you’re there.

The Client

In a cold call, you have about five seconds before the “sales” shield goes up. Avoid “How are you today?”

  • The Script: “Hi [Name], this is [Your Name] from [Company]. I’m calling because I saw [Specific Event/Trigger], and I wanted to share a quick way we’re helping teams like yours handle [Pain Point].” This opening is researched and direct. You aren’t asking for their time; you are offering a specific piece of value based on a real-world observation.

Quick Reference: The “No-Go” vs. The “Pro”

ScenarioAvoid This (Low Intent)Try This (High Intent)
Colleague“Got a sec?”“Are you in the middle of something, or can I ask a quick question /favour?”
Boss“Can I talk to you?”“I have an update or issue. Do you have a second? [ Stay Standing and in the doorway.]
Client“How’s your day going?”“Morning! I’m calling to invite/let you know/find out/
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Personal Boundary Space During a Conversation | Greeting | Easter Prep |

There are unspoken rules for space and touch during a conversation that determine how comfortable people feel during an interaction. Understanding these helps prevent “space invading” and ensures both parties feel safe and respected.

The Four Zones of Personal Space

Sociologists state that there are four distinct “proxemic” boundary zones.  

ZoneDistanceTypical Relationship
Intimate0 – 18 inchesClose family, partners, or very close friends.
Personal1.5 – 4 feetFriends, coworkers, and acquaintances.
Social4 – 12 feetNew acquaintances, formal business, or groups.
Public12+ feetPublic speaking or passing strangers.

During a conversation you may encounter:

Handshakes, high-fives, or a hand on the shoulder or elbow.

Standing face-to-face or in an angled direction.

Different forms of eye contact from too much to too little.

The dynamics of being at different heights. A feeling of boundary violation may occur if the conversationalists are at extreme height differences.

How to Define Your Boundaries

You have every right to decide how much space you need. 

If the other person is too close, you have the right to pivot your body away from theirs or take a step back and place an object between you like a tablet or a chair.

If you don’t want to be hugged or to shake hands, a polite wave, ”Hang Ten”, hand over heart or a slight bow works to acknowledge someone in a respectful way and avoid touching.

If someone ignores your physical cues, it’s okay to end the conversation. Be clear. Use “I” statements to keep it from sounding like an attack on that person:

  • “Do you mind if we step back a bit/Do you mind if we continue this later? I have to leave soon.”
  • “It’s great to see you! I no longer shake hands with anyone except at contract signings.  It has to do with clearance, work and security, fun things that go with promotion.”
  • “Wow! I’m not used to talking so closely to someone. Have you been living in Europe?”